


A Father's Love

by Namiira



Series: Lavellan's Heart [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family Secrets, Fluff and Smut, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Parent Cullen Rutherford, Parent Lavellan (Dragon Age), Parenthood, Past Relationship(s), Racism, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:54:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23195839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Namiira/pseuds/Namiira
Summary: Cullen and his family settle into a quiet life, Tiatria still faces to some prejudice from the merchants. Cullen recieves two letters that threaten his way of life and marriage.
Relationships: Female Lavellan/Cullen Rutherford, Iron Bull/Dorian Pavus/Male Mage Trevelyan
Series: Lavellan's Heart [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1226915
Comments: 13
Kudos: 11





	1. The Letter

**Author's Note:**

> Elven Language Translation:
> 
> Fen'Harel ma ghilana: "Dread Wolf guides you, ghil-dirthalen: "One who guides seekers of knowledge true." 

The sky was blue and the temperature was warm. Spring had come to South Reach. South Reach was a settlement and Arling located in South East Ferelden located just west of the Brecilian Forest. The Arl of South Reach is Leonas Bryland whom which served under Prince Maric during the Fereldan Rebellion.

Cullen former Commander of the Inquisition had moved there with his wife Tiatria a Dalish elf who was the Keeper’s Deshanna’s first. Together they decided to move to South Reach to be closer to Cullen’s family, His big sister Mia, little brother Branson and his son and his baby sister Rosalie.

They had found a small patch of land that was close to the city’s main market and at the edge of the Brecilian forest. Cullen with his brother’s help, Cullen made his home by hand and just in time for the birth of his second child, a boy that he and Tiatria named: Shartan.

In the time they had settled Cullen and Tiatria had made it through their first winter and spring had finally arrived. Shartan was now about six months old and Amalia was a year. Tiatria loved seeing the change of the seasons, back at Skyhold, it was always the same, cold.

Tiatria and her sister-in-law Mia were in the market to pick up some supplies, food, soap and cloth for the children’s clothes. Even though Cullen had enough money for the two live as rich as nobles they wanted to live simply, quietly off the land. Tiatria had Shartan in a sling that was across her chest and held Amalia’s hand since she could now walk.

Amalia’s hair was in tight honey blonde curls, she had her mother’s eyes and pouty lips but daddy’s chin and cheek bones. She loved to walk around without shoes and always dirtied her dress. She loved to play with rocks, flowers and any small creatures she could find. When she wanted to, she had the commanding presence of her father.

Mostly when people either tried to get her to wear shoes or her brother crawling over and ate a bug she was playing with.

Shartan had his father’s eyes and lips but his mother’s cheeks and wisps of blonde hair. He was the mellower of the two but always wanted to be with mommy. He had just figured out how crawling worked so everyone had to be on their toes.

Tiatria was at an open booth that sold in the market sqaure and had some cloth she was looking at new store for cloth that had just opened up for the day. Mia was looking at some cloth for her own family when she caught sight of the merchant who was an older female walking up to Tiatria.

“Do you know what your mistress is looking for?”Tiatria looked at the woman, slightly confused.

When she realized, “Oh no Mia isn’t my mistress" Tiatria looked at Mia then at the woman. "she’s my sister-in-law.”

The woman grabbed the cloth out of Tiatria’s hands, “I don’t sell to knife ears! This is a respectable place!”

Mia immediately dropped what she was holding as her eyes narrow. “You have no right to talk to her that way!"

The woman gave Mia a nasty look. "I can talk to her anyway I want, she's a knife ear and an apostate!" The woman pointed her narled finger at Tiatria's forehead. "I know that mark! She's a mage punished by the Chantry! Tranquil!"

Mia looked at Tiatria and saw her brand through some parted hair. Mia knew of the mistreatment Tranquil suffered from seeing them occasionally in the market place, selling their wears. However Mia wasn't having it. She wasn't going to let some ragged, bitter woman belittle Tiatria by any means. "She’s a free woman and has coin to spend!” Mia snapped as showed a full pouch of coins. Mia looked at the pitiable merchant stall. "Which this sorry excuse for a shop could use!" One good gust of wind and it would collapse into the dirt. 

The old woman then looked at Tiatria's children, her nasty eye scowled at the children. They were well nourished even though they were thin boned. Dirt on Amalia's dress and cheeks, rounded ears that told her they were half breeds. 

The woman looked at Mia, “There is a cloth merchant down the street that sell’s to knife ears! She can get it there!” the crone snapped.

Everyone knew that particular merchant, he did sell to anyone who came in but, they also knew that not every elven customer who went in, came back out. Also that they sold lesser quality for double what it was worth.

Tiatria held onto Amalia’s hand and started to back away. “It’s okay Mia, I can make the cloth it just takes a while. I was hoping to get some cloth now because Amalia has outgrown almost everything.”

Mia gave the old woman a stubborn look, “No, it’s not okay!" she growled. Mia came back at the woman, "Do you know who she is?" she questioned.

The merchant looked at Tiatria, "This woman is married to my brother Cullen Stanton Rutherford, the Commander of the Inquisition’s army! She has the same rights as you or I!”

The old woman folded her arms, “I don’t care if she’s the Queen of Ferelden, now leave!” 

Tiatria lowered her ears slightly as she turned away, as she walked towards the city's gates, a whisper could to be heard. "Fen'Harel ma ghilana, ghil-dirthalen." Tiatria looked up into air and looked around thinking someone was near, but there was no one. 

Mia walked up to Tiatria noticing her looking around, "Are you alright?"

Tiatria looked at her, "Huh? Yes, I'm fine" Mia picked up Amalia, "That crone didn't get to you did she?" Tiatria looked at her coin pouch, then her children before she looked back at Mia. "I'm never going to be more than I knife ear, am I?"

Mia didn't know what to say, to her and the rest of her family, Tiatria was deeply loved. No one saw her ears as an impediment. To her Tiatria was the person her brother desperately needed in his life. Cullen was never the same after Kinloch and Kirkwall but after joining the Inquisition and meeting Tiatria, Cullen became a new person. 

Tiatria looked at her daughter who looked more human than elven, being thin boned was the only give away. A few tears escaped her eyes before she walked away, heading home.

*********************************************************

Cullen was back at home with his brother Branson and his nephew. Cullen had finished chopping wood on a tree stump to restock on their supply from the last winter. Branson was plowing a field to get ready for a harvest they were preparing to plant. Cullen had bought a few horses and a bag of various seeds for his homestead. Cullen was teaching his newest recruit the proper art of fencing. His nephew loved to look at his sword and shield. So Cullen showed him how to properly use both with a stick and a make shift shield made out of a thinly sliced tree round and some leather nailed to it for a handle. As his nephew watched him, he picked up a stick and was mimicking his Uncle's sword thrusts.

As Cullen turned to use his sword and forward thrust, followed by a shield bash, he noticed a messenger running up to him as he wiped his brow with a cloth he had over his shoulder.

“Are you Commander Cullen Rutherford?” he asked.

“Yes, I am.” Cullen replied as he stabbed his sword into the dirt.

The messenger handed Cullen two letters, saluted and left. He then caught sight of Mia and his wife walking back. Cullen smiled as he put the letters in his pocket and walked up to the two.

Amalia walked over to him with her hands in the air. “Da…Da!” she giggled.

Cullen picked her up, “Hello Peanut how was town?” He saw Tiatria go into the house without a word, he then looked at his sister.

Mia folded her arms as she looked back at her brother. “A merchant woman refused to sell her cloth because she was elven.” Cullen gave a concerned look, “I gave that old bat a tongue lashing but still she wouldn’t sell her or I, what we needed.”

“Maker’s Mercy.” Said Cullen.

“She wants to make the cloth herself since you two have a small heard of sheep. One less thing to deal with in town.” Cullen knew self isolation wasn't going to help his wife.

Cullen shook his head, “People have sold her goods before, why not now?”

Mia sighed as she spoke, “You were with her before and people know who you are, your reputation. However, if you aren’t there, people don’t care. To them she’s still a knife ear Dalish. Or an Apostate punished by the Chantry.” Cullen's eyes became grumpy, as Mia continued. "The merchant not only saw her Dalish markings but her Tranquil brand."

Cullen gave a snort as he could still take comfort in the fact Samson was dead. However, the damage he was continuing to do in Tiatria's life. Even in death the damage was still astonishing. Cullen looked at his little girl and gave a gentle smile. He gave a kiss to Amalia’s head and gave her to his sister. “Stay here,” he then took his wife's purse which Mia was still holding onto.

Mia looked at her brother as he walked off, “Where you going?”

“Shopping” he yelled back, determined to find the merchant and rectify the situation.

**************************************************

Tiatria put Shartan to bed in the cradle Blackwall had made. Amalia had a small bed in her room and Shartan’s was in his own room. She’d just finished nursing him and gave him a fresh diaper on him. Tiatria then walked out of the house and she used her magic to gently rid the sheep of their wool. They had bought four sheep just before the first snow fall. As she sat down Tiatria knew it wouldn’t be enough to cloth the children properly but it was a start.

As she worked on the clumps of wool, Tiatria couldn't help ponder the words she heard in the air. _Fen'Harel wanted to guide her to true knowledge if she wanted it._ What could the Dread wolf possibly want to teach her?

When Cullen returned Tiatria had the first batch of wool on the spinning wheel. He had several bundles of cloth under his left arm. Tiatria looked at him stunned, “Where did you go?”

Cullen had gone to the same store that Tiatria had been refused service, and had a chat with the old woman who was the owner. He showed her the size of his wife’s purse and that she could’ve made a tiny fortune in selling to his wife.

Once the woman saw what Mia was telling the truth that Tiatria was married to the Commander of the Inquisition’s army, she immediately apologized. She then quickly sold Cullen anything he needed with extreme politeness. Cullen told her he still had contacts in the Inquisition that could help her business flourish or make it go bankrupt due to intolerance of certain types of customers.

The woman was advised to let any and all customers buy from her including his wife. The woman agreed and again apologized.

Cullen smiled gently, “I went shopping. I got the cloth you were originally looking for the children. So now they can grow all they want now.”

Tiatria smiled as she continued her task, as Cullen put the cloth on the table. He turned and noticed the tears in his wife's eyes. Cullen sighed as walked over to his wife. His right hand gently caressed her left cheek. A single tear fell and touched Cullen's hand. Cullen knelt down as his left hand moved Tiatria's chin so she'd face him. 

"I'm sorry Sweet Heart, I wish people were more tolerant." Tiatria looked at her lap, "I'll always be a knife ear Dalish Cullen, I've accepted that fact. I just wish people wouldn't scowl at the children so much." Cullen took a sigh as he didn't like it either. He'd give a hard scowl to anyone who gave a sideways glance at his children. It was better they were their family, with those who genuinely loved them. Not with people who saw them as half bred bastards. 

Tiatria wiped away her tears before she noticed the letters tucked in Cullen's belt. “What are those?”

Cullen pulled them out as he stood up looking at them, “One is from Josephine.” Cullen recognized the seal on the back of the letter.

“And the other?” Tiatria questioned.

Cullen looked at it and shook his head, “I don’t know.”

Mia walked in after letting herself in, “We’re going to go home. Is there anything you need?”

Cullen looked up at his sister, “No, thank you Mia”

Mia noticed her brother who was looking puzzled as he continued to look at the letter. “What’s wrong?”

Mia walked up to Cullen as he looked at her, “I don’t know who this letter is from.”

Mia took it and looked at it for a moment, “Oh it’s from Laura from Honnleath.”

Cullen looked at her still puzzled, “I haven’t seen her in over ten years, why is she writing to me now?”

Mia shook her head, “I don’t know, it’s your letter not mine. I will see you tomorrow.”

Cullen nodded as Mia left smiling at Tiatria, “I will see you tomorrow. Rosalie wants to come over and see how you’re getting along.”

Tiatria nodded, “Alright, see you later.”

Cullen sat in a wooden chair by the fire as he examined the letter. Tiatria could see he was lost in thought. Cullen took Josephine’s first and opened it after a few moments of reading it he looked at Tiatria.

“Leliana has taken her official vows as Divine.” Cullen announced.

Tiatria smiled, “Oh how wonderful. That makes me feel relieved that she was chosen as the Divine. If either of the kids are mages, they’ll be safe.”

Cullen nodded as continued to read, “The Inquisitor and Dorian got married.”

Tiatria smiled, “Oh I wish we could have been there. You could’ve gone at least.”

Cullen smiled, “They would have preferred both of us but I didn’t feel comfortable leaving with both the children ill and to run things around here.”

“Anything else?” Tiatria asked as she could see Cullen's face become more serious. 

Cullen sighed as he ran his right hand threw his hair, “I may be recalled to be the Commander of the Inquisition’s army.”

“What? Why?” Tiatria questioned shocked.

Cullen looked at her, “It appears the Divine is trying to satisfy Orlais and Ferelden about the Inquisition’s intentions. Orlais is supporting the Inquisition, Ferelden however, wants it disbanded claiming it is a potential hostile power.”

Tiatria had a worried look on her face, “Cullen we can’t get pulled back in. We’re happy here.”

Cullen got up as he put the letter on the table. “I know that Tia, I don’t want to be called back either, but I can’t ignore this.”

Tiatria got up as she took his hand as she walked to the fireplace. "I know what we have isn't perfect but we can't go back." Cullen could see that Tiatria was adamant about what she was saying." Cullen kissed Tiatria's right hand. She then bent over to get on the stew she was cooking and it was almost ready. As she tasted the soup she felt Cullen’s hands caress her waist and butt.

Tiatria smiled as she looked behind her, “What are you doing?”

“I just want to feel you.” Cullen purred into her ear.

Tiatria stood up and smiled, “Why do I have a feeling you want to do more than just feel me?”

Tiatria’s right hand rubbed Cullen's groin as she kissed him, Cullen’s hands went up the sides of her body and held her jaw into his hands. “Two isn’t enough for you?” she teased.

Cullen’ smiled as he felt Tiatria’s fingers loosened his trousers as they kissed each other. Cullen always loved the feel of her pouty lips, soft, gentle. Cullen's hands held both sides of Tiatria's jaw as he kissed her. “With you…never.”

Cullen’s left hand and fingers slowly drew up her dress as his right caressed and rubbed her left breast. He was gentle as not to force her breast leak with milk. The two walked back till Tiatria’s back touched against the wall next to the fire place. Tiatria’s fingers finally got Cullen’s pants open and she took him in hand.

Cullen’s cock was already hard, and she was just caressing it to feel it throb in her hand. Feeling her husband’s cock throb in her hand excited her, making her heart go faster as she felt her cheeks blush.

“Maker preserve me,” he groaned, trying to pull her away from his chest. She let him, sinking into another kiss that left her shaking to her bones.

Cullen pinned Tiatria between his body and the wall as he nipped and kissed her neck causing her to raise her head as she moaned. He kissed her lips which were soft and beautiful. Cullen made it a hard kiss, a passionate kiss, the kind of kiss you gave someone when you wanted to drown in them. Tiatria then rested her head against his right shoulder as he finally got her dress to lift up over her waist.

Cullen kissed Tiatria like that when he ached from lyrium withdrawal, when the nightmares woke him in the middle of the night. When Cullen whispered that he’d forgotten her scent, the feel of her in his arms, she smiled. Cullen loved the softness of her body as he pulled her tunic open causing a few buttons to snap off and hit the floor.

Tiatria moaned as she felt Cullen's hardened cock against her vaginal folds. Cullen’s lips captured hers and they both moaned as Cullen picked her up and Tiatria wrapped her arms around his neck. Her head still rested on Cullen's shoulder. The head of Cullen’s cock could feel the moist droplets of Tiatria's heat.

Cullen swallowed Tiatria's moans only to pull more from her. The knuckles of his right hand grazed over her chest. Wrapping one leg around his hips, she ground herself against him as her fingers worked to free him of his shirt. Not all of it, though, because she was in a hurry. If she ripped it she'd fix it later.

“I need to be inside you,” he groaned, rubbing his head against her chest, like bull ready to rut.

Cullen caught one of Tiatria's nipples in his mouth, sucking it deep, and she cried out. Tiatria's fingers buried in his hair, a small wisp of smoke came from his hair. Tiatria held him to her as he shifted her to get a better angle.

Tiatria looked at her husband “This isn’t one of my safe days.”

Cullen’s eyes burned with lust for his wife as she felt him slowly sheath himself inside of her moist folds. His lips captured hers as he moved his hips upward driving his cock into her further.

Cullen’s honey combed eyes looked at her “I know.” he whispered in a honeyed voice.

Tiatria’s body went upward slightly and downward as she felt him slide in and out of her. As she felt her husband inside of her she crossed her legs around his waist. Her fingers clung into his shoulders drawing bits of blood. Cullen moaned and groaned, his pace picked up as he felt the muscles of his loins start to tighten and was starting to seek relief. Tiatria could feel his hot breath quicken as he trust into her.

The sounds of skin against skin echoed in the house. Tiatria felt herself start to feel hot and cold in her skin. Her stomach and groin muscles started to tighten. She started to moan louder until it developed into groans. Her face got hot and her heart started to race.

“Harder Cullen!” she begged.

“As you wish”

He broke off with a groan, driving deep into her. His rhythm was rough, erratic, as though he couldn’t control himself enough to make the pace even. She didn’t care. Because every time his lips brushed her ear, he whispered how beautiful she would look when she swelled with his child again, cherishing her and their child.

“Maker’s breath.” His words caressed her lips.

Gasping, she pressed her mouth to his neck, rolling her hips against him, taking him as hard as he took her, letting him in as deeply into her body as possible.

“You know,” she said, voice ragged and breaking on her moans, “it might not take this time.” his own laugh was as broken as her voice.

“Every day,” Cullen promised her, “Every day and every night until your belly swells with my child again.”

Tiatria shuddered, the tremor wracking her whole body with heat and desire and need, and she caught his mouth with hers, drinking in his moans as he took her. His hands held her butt but his left hand lowered her leg, leaving her other legs wrapped around him. His hands were always calloused but they were still so gentle. When he stroked one hand up her back, Tiatria curled them over her shoulders and clutching him to her, Cullen whimpered. As Tiatria drew him in closer he dropped one hand between them to thumb her clit, she moaned. And when he whispered how much he loved her, how much he wanted to see her body big with their child, something twisted and broke inside her.

Crying out, the sound was swallowed by Cullen's kiss, she came in a hot flash of pleasure. Her body clenched around his, and he cursed against her mouth in that gentle way of his.

“Cum in me,” Tiatria whispered, her words soft and sweet against his lips. “I need you," Cullen put his left hand against the wall locking his arm. "Cullen, please, fill me.” Cullen snapped as he groaned, his eyes squeezed shut, and jerked almost slamming into her. She felt him fill her with his seed, felt it splash inside her in hot spurts, and he held her firmly, tightly, not giving a single inch.

Gasping, soaked with sweat, he dropped his forehead onto her shoulder. “Maker’s breath.”

Tiatria nuzzled Cullen's ear nipping it lightly as she moved her left hand up and down his back. Cullen panted as he pulled back to smile at Tiatria, but he didn’t pull out of her. Tiatria felt him softening inside her, but he made no move to withdraw. Something about that, about the fact that his body was keeping his seed sealed in her.

After a moment, Tiatria lowered her eyes, as she realized. “More half breeds?" Cullen's euphoria ended as he lowered his wife down. He then tucked himself away as he relaced his pants.

Tiatria walked to a cabinet taking a few bowls and setting them on the table. She walked into Amalia’s bedroom and picked her up gently waking her. Cullen was putting the stew into each bowl and some in Amalia’s small bowl. Cullen had been clever enough to make a high chair out of wood that they could scoot to the table for her to sit at the table with them. Both took turns in feeding her.

Cullen looked at Tiatria, even as her bangs revealed the sunburst brand, he smiled. "Maker's Breath do you know how beautiful you are?"

Tiatria looked at her husband stunned, "What?" she questioned lowering her spoon. 

The fire's light helped Cullen's eyes turn to honeycomb, "You're beautiful Tia don't ever forget that." Tiatria's eyes lowered as she smiled. "Never forget that, I'm proud that our children came from you." Cullen's right hand reached out for her left. "I don't ever want to hear the word _Half Breed_ again." Tiatria gave a gentle smile.

After dinner Tiatria continued her task with the spinning wheel. Cullen on the other hand read the second letter and was very quiet. Tiatria looked at him, “What’s wrong?" sensing confusion, apprehension and shock.

Cullen shook his head. “It’s nothing.” obviously lying, he then got up and picked up Amalia who was playing with her doll. Cullen walked her into her bedroom and helped her get into her night gown. He helped her get her into bed and Cullen kissed her goodnight.

Amalia held onto her daddy’s hand and refused to let go. Cullen smiled he knew what she wanted. “Once upon a time there was a beautiful Dalish elf. She was the pretties in all the land.”

Amalia smiled as Cullen sat down next to her bed, “She made a journey to meet a special man called the Inquisitor. The Inquisitor was a great man who had needed helpers, one was a man who commanded his army. The Commander was very lonely, and angry but when he saw the beautiful elf, all his anger and loneliness when away. Together they were happy.” Amalia’s grip loosened as she closed her eyes. “The Commander did everything possible to see that the elf was happy for she made him happy.” When Amalia fell asleep she let Cullen go.

He leaned over and kissed his daughter's cheek, “Goodnight Sweetheart, may the Maker bless you with blissful dreams.”

Cullen came out and saw Tiatria reading his letter, “Tia”

Tiatria looked at him with teary eyes, his letter in her hand. Cullen started to walk up to her but before he could utter a word, Tiatria opened the door and left. Cullen looked at the letter which she had dropped on the floor.


	2. Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen tells his sister's about a moment in time when he came home a week before he was to serve in Kinloch Hold in Fereldan's Circle. Tiatria question's Cullen's intentions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elven Language Translation
> 
> Fen'Harel ma ghilana: "Dread Wolf guides you, ghil-Dirthalen: "One who guides seekers of knowledge true. 

Tiatria ran as fast as she could into the woods, her feet didn't seem to touch the ground as she ran. A family, Cullen had another family. A human family back where he grew up, tears whipped into the wind. Tiatria felt her foot catch a tree root, causing her to fall forward into the grass. Slowly, Tiatria was able to prop herself up as the tears continued to flow. As her nails dug into the soil a faint wind seemed to pick up and gently whisk away her tears.

Once again Tiatria heard familiar words whispered into her ear. **"** Fen'Harel ma ghilana, ghil-Dirthalen" 

Tiatria looked around but saw nothing in the darkness, even with her elven eyes. As the moon was revealed from the cloud bank, Tiatria was able to see that she was in a clearing that had a small pond.

Cullen stayed up all night after Tiatria left, he lucky with the baby he slept the whole night not needing to be fed. He sat by the fire and read the letter over and over still not believing its contents but if Laura wrote them then they had to be true.

Mia and Rosalie came into Cullen’s house and saw Cullen just sitting there. The two looked at each other for a moment before walking up to Cullen. He was still holding the letter and as they got closer they could see his eyes were glassy.

“Cullen” Mia called gently, Cullen didn’t seem to be paying attention, she noticed the color had left his face. “Who is the letter from Cullen?” Cullen didn’t act like he heard her, “CULLEN!” Cullen snapped his head up, “Who is the letter from?”

Cullen's tongue moistened his lips as they had seemed to run dry. He tilted his head to the right as he struggled to find the words. His right hand covered his mouth as he slowly drew it down to his chin. “It’s the letter from Laura”

Mia’s eyes seemed to spark of remembrance. “We grew up with her in Honnleath, I remember you and Branson fighting over her.”

Cullen nodded, “Yes”

Mia looked at him confused, “Well what does she say?”

Cullen looked like he was going to be sick, “She’s still in Honnleath…with my nearly ten year old Daughter.”

Mia’s eyes grew wide with shock, “What?” She walked over to him as Cullen looked at the letter, “She wrote that she and I have a nine year old Daughter named Lily." Rosalie looked at Mia before she looked at her Brother. "Why write you about this now? Couldn't she have told you sooner? Or not at all?" she questioned. Cullen scratched his head for a moment, "Laura couldn’t find me up until now.”

Mia gave him a sideways glance, “Gee, I wonder why? I wouldn’t have found you unless was I remained persistent.” Cullen gave his Sister a nasty look, he wasn't in any mood for his Sister's subtle reprimands.

Mia took the letter from her brother and she and Rosalie read it for themselves. “She also writes that she didn’t want to tell you when you were a Templar in Kinloch or Kirkwall because she didn’t want you to give up your career as a Templar.” said Rosalie.

Mia looked at him confused, “What does she mean by that and when did this happen?”

Cullen was deep in thought his right hand propping up his head as his elbow rested on the arm of his chair. “Cullen!”

Cullen looked at her as he sat up straight, he knew he would have to tell her. Amalia walked into the room, rubbing her eyes as she held her dolly. Rosalie smiled as she picked her niece up, “Come here sugar pie.”

Cullen sighed, “Do you remember me visiting you, Branson and Rosalie for a week after my Templar training was finished? I had a week’s leave to come and see you before I was to leave for the circle. Laura and I exchanged letters during my training and became closer than friends.” Mia looked at Cullen as he wondered how he cleverly hid this secret from her and the others. “I visited her the last night I was to stay in Honnleath.”

Cullen then cleared his throat which led Mia to know what happened that night. Mia and Rosalie looked at Cullen astounded, “Why did you never tell us about this?”

Cullen stood up taking his Daughter from Rosalie, “I never felt like I had to before, besides what happens in my private life is no one’s business, but my own.”

Mia had her arms crossed, “Where’s Tia?”

Cullen looked at her, “She read the letter and left, she hasn’t returned yet.”

Mia gave her brother a disgruntled snort, “Okay, let me ask you this, were you going to tell your wife?”

Cullen nodded giving her a hard stare, “Yes, of course Mia!” Cullen’s face softened as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I just needed to figure out how.”

“Why did she read the letter? That is such an invasion of privacy.” asked Rosalie.

Cullen put his daughter in her highchair and got his daughter some breakfast that consisted of fruit, bread and some cheese.

Cullen sat down to help his daughter eat, “The way we’re married is different than most.”

Mia sat down in front of Cullen, “What do you mean?” Cullen could clearly see that his sisters were both intrigued and confused. Mia could see her brother mauling over how was going to explain everything.

Finally, Cullen rubbed his forehead with both hands which covered his face for a few moments, looking at the two. “We got married in the Dalish tradition.”

Rosalie was shocked, “You weren’t married in the eyes of the Maker, Cullen?”

Cullen sighed, “Yes and no.” He folded his hands, “Tia is a mage and was her Keeper’s first meaning, that she was in line to be the next Keeper of her clan. In Dalish clans when elves are married they are bonded.”

Rosalie still looked confused, “How is that different from regular marriage?”

Cullen groaned, “Rosalie, Tia bound herself to me and I bound myself to her. We can sense each other’s emotions and at times, and if we aren’t careful, our thoughts. She knew the letter took me by surprise. She could feel it.”

Mia gave a smirk, “She probably also knows how you operate, you’d tell her at some point and that could take years. I bet she did it because, she wanted to comfort you but was as taken back as you were.”

Rosalie was shocked that her big brother was married and bound to someone at the same time was amazing. She rested her chin on her left hand. “Why didn’t you sense her emotions when she read it?” she questioned.

Cullen shook his head, as he held his hands together. “I don’t know, I think it’s due to her being a mage. She probably knows how to shield herself from me.”

Cullen felt a pain of panic hit him, how was he going to explain this to her? Was she going to come back? This wasn’t going to be a simple conversation.

Rosalie saw him starting to over think this whole thing, “Cullen if you just tell her it was long before the Inquisition’s time, maybe she’ll understand the whole situation.”

Mia gave a her brother a serious look, "I don't think it will be so simple. This is your fault Cullen and you need to fix it!" Cullen gave a snort as he shook his head, "Your wife was a slave and formally tranquil. How could you or anyone else for that matter think she could properly understand or process this?"

Cullen’s face gave his sister a look that showed her there was no good way to talk about this with his wife. He knew Tiatria was processing her emotions better than before. However, at the moment he wasn't sure how she was going to process something as big as this.

However, if he did tell Tiatria that he just found out about it, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Cullen could only hope that would be the case as he looked at the letter.

Mia smiled, “Cullen go find her, we’ll stay here and watch the children.”

********************************************************

Tiatria was still in the forest in a clearing that was next to the pond. She had her feet in the cool water as she continued to cry. Her heart was broken, the love of her life had lied and deceived her. How could he keep this kind of a secret from her? How could he abandon his family and start another?

“Sweet Heart?” Tiatria’s body shuttered as her husband called out to her. Cullen could feel what she was feeling. The anger, the pain, feelings of betrayal. Cullen sat next to her, he could see the tears streaming down her cheeks. Cullen’s hand slowly worked its way into touching hers. Which she was quick to pull them away as he looked at her. Cullen's face showed concern ,“Are you alright?”

Tiatria wiped her tears, “Yes, I’m fine.” she lied.

Cullen tried to caress her cheek but Tiatria turned her head away as she looked at the stream. Her arms were folded and her face was obviously troubled and Cullen noticed it. He put his arm around her, her body shivered as she pulled away.

Tiatria shook her head, “I can’t do it anymore.” Cullen watched as she stood up, clearly confused.“I can’t be married to you anymore!” she backed up looking at him. “I can’t be married to another woman’s husband!”

Cullen swiftly stood up and grabbed Tiatria’s hand, “Tia!”

Tiatria swirled around, “Don’t call me that! Never again!” she snapped, Cullen could feel all her anger and there was a lot. Tiatria looked up at him, “How long have you known?”

Cullen shrugged as he fought for words, “I found out a few seconds before you did!" he ran his fingers through his hair, "I knew nothing about this till I got the letter yesterday.”

Tiatria could clearly that Cullen seemed surprised, “I didn’t know about any of this till, I read the letter! How am I at fault?”

Tiatria lowered her eyes as she shook her head, “So what? Are you going to have them come to our home?”

Cullen’s face showed he was considering it, “I need to know Tia, if this child is mine” He began to rub his neck, “I need to take care of her like I do with our children. It’s the right thing to do.”

Tiatria started to feel intense anger, which Cullen felt. “What are you going to do with this Shemlen woman? Are you going to let her stay here as well?” Cullen knew Tiatria didn’t use the word _Shemlen_ unless she was mad.

Cullen shook his head, “I don’t know honestly! Andraste preserve me, I need to talk to them. I haven’t seen this woman in ten years.”

“Do you have feelings for her?” Tiatria questioned folding her arms.

Cullen was caught off guard, “I did a long time ago…” Cullen realized he shouldn’t have said that as soon as he looked her face which, clearly showed shock. He walked up to Tiatria, as he held her hands, “I married you, I love you, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Cullen tried to hug Tiatria but she shrugged him off, “You, want them don’t you? Leave your elven wife and half-blooded children behind!”

Now Cullen knew this was getting out of hand, “Maker’s Breath Tia, no!”

Tiatria looked at Cullen after she thought for a moment, her arms holding herself. Cullen could feel her confliction as she felt his sincerity. Tiatria looked at Cullen with her blue eyes bore into him, into his soul. It sent shivers down Cullen’s spine.

Tears filled Tiatria's eyes, “I can live off the land Cullen, the children and I-”

Cullen shook his head, as he looked upward, “Maker’s Breath, Tia." his hands holding the sides of Tiatria's arms, "I can’t make it any clearer even if I wanted to, I want you! I want my children with you! I want to grow old and die with you!" Tiatria felt Cullen's hands gently hold her face as her eyes refused to look at him. Once her eyes did meet his, Cullen continued to speak, "but I have to find out if there is any truth in this. ”

“Then go find out we’ll be waiting here for you.” Tiatria told him as she turned her back at him.

Cullen kissed Tiatria with everything he had as he held her head his hands. He put his forehead against hers as he stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. “I love you and I will be back.” Tiatria put her ring in Cullen’s right hand and looked at him with glassy eyes.

Tiatria closed Cullen's hand, “I hope so.”

***********************************************************

Branson opened the door to Cullen's home as he knocked, "Cullen?"

Mia turned and saw her brother as she held Shartan who was screaming from hunger. "Branson!"

Branson looked around the house, "Where is Cullen? He's supposed to help me sow the fields today. Horses aren't tacked up, nothing?" He looked at the infant and didn't see Tiatria anywhere, "What's going on?"

Cullen walked out of the forest and walked back to his home. He headed to the barn when he saw Branson in travel clothes holding reins of two horses in each hand. “I heard you got in a fight with the wife, can’t say I know what that’s like.”

Tiatria walked passed the two and into the house and slammed the door. Branson’s eyes got wide as he mouthed ‘wow’. He may not have been bound to Tiatria like his brother was but he knew anger when he saw it.

Branson shook his head as he looked around and saw Cullen was gone. Cullen came out of the barn with his old Commander Armor back on.

Branson gave a smirk, “I remember going a few rounds with Emily. I slept in the barn a few times.” He chuckled. Branson looked at his brother puzzled, “Mia said I should go with you, why?” he questioned as Cullen took the reins of one of the horses.

Cullen had no idea but he wasn't in the current frame of mind to answer him honestly. For all he knew Cullen wanted Branson to go with him for company, for conversation or for spying. He was pretty sure she wanted to know about everything that went on. Branson would be more willing to talk then he ever would be on a matter such as this.

Branson shook his head,“Do you have to wear that armor and coat? Are you trying to look better than me?” Cullen just shook his head as he got on the horse. The two would compete over who was the most physically fit and the best looking, all the time.

Cullen looked at his as they had their horses move, “We’re not having this argument again.”

Branson laughed as he rode his horse, “What argument? Just because you’re a Commander of an army doesn’t mean you are more muscular or stylish than me.”

Branson could see the seriousness on Cullen's face as they headed back home to Honnleath. Truthfully Branson was curious as to why they were heading back home. What would be there that he and Cullen had to see?

Cullen kept to himself and spoke little as they traveled. He had to visit Laura and see if there was any truth to her letter. After a while Branson was able to get Cullen to talk, joke and catch up on what was going on in their lives. It took a few days for the days for them to reach Honnleath. Cullen couldn’t believe how damaged the village still looked.

Cullen looked at Branson, “Is this what it looked like before you all left?”

Branson nodded, “Yes, since we are in such a remote location it’s hard to find the proper trees to cut to rebuild. It doesn’t help that the Darkspawn poisoned the land on top of it. It will take decades for the village to recover.”

Cullen nodded as he looked at his brother, “Are Mother and Father buried here or…?”

Branson nodded, “Yes, we didn’t get far before they died from the wasting sickness. We decided to take them back and bury them before we tried to go to South Reach.”

Cullen remembered where the cemetery was and walked there. He hadn’t paid his respects before this seemed as good a time as any to do so now. The Cemetery looked like one, wooden fencing surrounded it. The land spoiled by the Darkspawn so no trees, flowers or anything, just bare landscape. Cullen tied his horse to the fence as he walked in. Branson led him to where they were buried, Cullen looked at the tombstones. With his salary he’d bought them proper ones when he was still a Templar in Kirkwall. Before they just had rocks with their names painted on them.

Their names were chiseled into the stone with carvings of Andraste over their names. He’d never seen them before they were shipped home but seeing them now he approved. Branson stood next to him as they notice a bouquet of flowers were on their mounds. They were fresh so they had to have been placed recently. Cullen squatted down as he picked up the bouquet from his mother’s grave. They were Lilies and roses mixed together.

After a few more moments they left and went to Laura’s family home. Cullen went to Laura’s old home but she wasn’t there. To his surprise he found a new family was living there. He and Branson asked around for Laura’s location they were pointed out of town to the North. She’d moved about a mile out of town.

They rode out where they were directed and found a solitary home there. Cullen hoped it was hers as he got off and gave the reins to his brother. He felt his heart pound as he knocked on the door and waited a few moments. He was starting to think no one was home, he was about to leave when the door opened.

Cullen turned around and saw her, pale skin, soft brown eyes with soft wavy shoulder length hair. Her eyes were as stunning as ever as where he pouty lips. Branson blushed horribly as his heart seemed to stop. Laura was as beautiful as he remembered.

“Cullen?”

_A moonlit night, two virgin lovers in each others arms as they lay on the grass of the lake's shoreline. He held her close as he consumed her with kisses his hands moving down her back. He looked down kissing her left jaw and neckline. He followed all the way down to her collar bone. Her fingers threaded through his golden blonde hair. She threw her head back as she held onto his hair. She opened her legs letting him settle easier as he caressed her thighs with his fingers. His hands went under her hips and pulled her closer to him, his finger tips caressed up the sides of her body, causing her to shutter. She moved her hands down her thighs till they met his fingertips. They interlocked and she pulled him up over her. His hands supporting himself over her.'_

Cullen’s back straightened as he blushed, “Hello Laura, I got your letter.”

Laura gave a sweet smile as her head leaned on the door, “I hoped you would” she felt a pull on her skirt as a girl with curly blonde hair and honey comb amber eyes stared at him. “ _We_ hoped you would” she corrected.

Cullen was taken back by the child, she looked like Mia at her age. Amber eyes, curly blonde hair and Laura's pouty lips. The girl looked up at her Mom, “Who is this Mommy?”

Laura looked her Daughter, “Lily, this is Commander Cullen Stanton Rutherford, your father.”

Lily came out of the house and looked at Cullen. She wasn’t quite sure what to say or do really except, smile at him sweetly.

“Nice to meet you.”

Cullen looked back at his Brother who was giving him a severe disapproving look. Cullen looked back at the child _his_ daughter and smiled at her. “It’s good to meet you too.”

Laura opened her door wider, “Please come in”


	3. A Brother's Burden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen sees how his Laura and Lily have been surviving all these years and learns why he was contacted now. Branson makes an admission to Cullen that Cullen isn't all that surprised by.

Once the horses where tied both Cullen and Branson came in, Laura checked the food cooking in the pot over the fire. She turned and looked at the two men. “I’m afraid we don’t have much to offer in the ways of food I’m afraid.”

Cullen gave a gently smile as he sat down at a wooden dining table that had bench seating. “It’s alright” his right hand slightly extended.

Laura looked at Cullen as she sat down in front of him of her dinner table. She looked nervous, “I expect you have questions for me.”

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck as he thought for a moment. He looked at her from the corner of his left eye. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

Laura held her hands together, her eyes low. “I couldn’t find you.”

Branson gave a snide laugh as he shook his head, "Imagine that!" he said in a snide tone as he leaned against a wall. His arms folded as he continued to give his brother the stink eye.

Cullen turned his head after he gave his brother a disapproving look. “I left Ferledan after the Blight ended. You could have written me while I was still there, Laura.” Cullen gave Laura a soft look, "You could've told me you were pregnant and the baby was mine."

Laura shook her head, “By the time any word would've reached you Cullen, the Blight had already come to Ferelden. Everyone here heard about the circle being destroyed and no one, if anyone, survived. It wasn’t till I got a letter from Mia saying she got word that you had survived but you were in Kirkwall at the time still serving as a Templar.”

Cullen looked a little puzzled, “Why did it matter if I was still a Templar?”

Laura looked at Cullen concerned as held her hands apart on the table. “Two reasons, one, because I didn’t want you to give up a dream. You'd fought so hard to obtain and two, Lily is…a…mage.”

Cullen looked at Branson for a moment as he was in shock. With his arms still folded Branson walked by the table and sat down. Cullen ran his fingers through his hair, “A…mage?”

It finally registered for Cullen, Laura didn’t tell him till now because she didn’t want her taken away. As a Templar he’d be duty bound to report Lily and have the local Templars take her away. Not to mention Cullen wouldn't have been in the best frame of mind at the time to be receptive of being the father to anyone, including a mage. 

Cullen put his left hand on Laura's hands, “I would have come back, I would’ve…” Cullen lowered his head as he shook it.

“I know Cullen" said Laura as she looked at him, “I know, you would have given up your career as a Templar, married me and made me an honest woman.” Laura sighed as she looked up at him, “Truth is, I didn’t want you to, being a Templar was your dream. I didn’t want you to give it up if it was something you still wanted.” Laura put her right hand on his giving him a gentle smile.

Cullen looked at her, “Why did you move out here?”

Laura sighed as she held her hands together, “I moved away when Lily started to show signs about a year ago, due to the Blight and the inability to farm the land, I rented out my family’s home.”

Cullen looked at the little girl who was stirring the pot of food. He looked back Laura, “I will see that money is sent to you. I will see that you two are taken care of.”

Branson was happy to see his brother immediately assuming responsibility, for his child. He knew Cullen would automatically of course but still. Branson couldn't help but feel bad that Laura had been alone with this for so long. Perosnally, Branson would've come back for Laura and help her raise Lily as his own. 

Laura shook her head, “Cullen there is no need to-”

Cullen cut her off ,“Yes, there is! Maker’s Breath you’ve had to struggle all these years and you didn’t have to. I have connections in Skyhold to see it done.”

“Mommy” Both turned their heads, “The stew is ready.” Lily told her Mother.

Laura got up as Lily got the bowls out which all they had were two. Laura filled her Daughter’s bowl first. Laura then filled hers which only went up to a third.

Lily looked at Cullen ,“Do you want some? Mom says it’s rude to eat in front of people who don’t have anything.”

Cullen smiled at her, “It’s okay, I’m not hungry. You eat your dinner Lily.”

Lily’s eyes shot open, “You know my name?”

Cullen smiled, “I do, your mom wrote me and told me your name.”

Cullen watched Lily pick up her spoon and start to eat. He looked around the house and there was barely anything to it. A fireplace, the table which he was sitting at and a bed. He wondered why they had so little. He then found out when Lily started to scream. She had set the table on fire, Cullen got up and used his coat to smother it. Lily screamed as her mother held her close. 

Lily looked at her mother, “Mommy I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it!” Lily screamed as she hugged her mother.

Cullen knelt down and looked at the girl. He held her hands, “It’s alright! No damage done.”

Lily looked at the mess and walked over pulling Cullen’s coat off the table and her bowl of stew dropped to the floor. She looked at them with tears in her eyes, “I’m sorry I messed up your coat.”

Cullen stood up and took it, “It’s alright, I’m happier you’re alright. I can wash this or replace it, you can’t be.”

Lily looked away from Cullen, “Maybe I should go one of those Circles Mommy used to talk about.”

Cullen knelt down and smiled, “I don’t think you need to one of those places," he told her as his right hand touched her cheek. "I have some friends in Skyhold who are mages. I’m sure they’d be happy to help you learn to hone your powers.”

Lily looked at Cullen, “Mommy said you used to be a Templar, they guard the mages.”

Cullen’s eyes were soft as he looked at her, “Yes, I was once.”

Lily looked at her father as she fumbled with her fingers, “Do you think you could guard me?”

Cullen was taken by surprise but smiled, “I will always protect you Lily, especially now that I know about you.”

Lily fiercely hugged Cullen around the neck as she cried. He held her as he stood up and turned to look at Laura. She gave a look that now he knew the truth of things. When Lily settled down, Laura gave her daughter her own supper and Cullen helped Laura put Lily to bed. He told Lily stories about the Inquisitor and how he stopped the sky from being torn.

When Lily fell asleep Cullen stepped outside for a moment, he saw Branson leaning against the fence. Even with his back facing him, Cullen knew his brother was sulking over the situation. Branson stood up and turned around, knowing his brother was there. He gave Cullen a rather agitated look as he leaned against the fenceing, his hands holding onto the wood. 

Cullen sighed, “Maker’s Breath Branson, if you want to hit me then hit me.”

Branson walked up like he was going to but stopped, “You couldn’t tell me? Why couldn’t you tell me?”

Cullen looked at his Brother, “I didn’t say anything at the time because we were just friends. We just exchanged letters back and forth. You had the home advantage, why didn’t you try?”

Branson exploded, “I did try! Every day, I tried but Laura only talked about you! She wanted to know the latest news all the time! That’s the problem, I could _never_ compete with you even when you were away!" Branson's fists clenched he looked away for a moment. " You were always the perfect one with Mom and Dad and everyone else! You were the golden child who went off to be a Templar, how am I supposed to compete with that?”

Cullen knew at Branson had to have been holding all this in for a while, for him to explode like this. Cullen just listened to his brother, “She was the one Cullen! She was the only one I ever wanted! Why didn’t you tell me you had her first? That I was wasting my time! When she became pregnant, I backed off because I knew there had to be someone else! I just didn’t think it was you!”

Branson shoved Cullen, “Did you know that she never mentioned who the father was? She refused to. Even when she stayed with us for a time because her parents were angry and through her out.”

Cullen was taken back by that, she protected his good name and stayed silent.

Cullen gave his brother a cross look, “If you had, had her, you wouldn’t have your son or ever been with the woman that died giving him to you.”

Branson slugged Cullen to the ground, “You’re a Bastard! You should have told me! You’re a coward because you didn’t.” Branson then walked off as Cullen rubbed his jaw.

Cullen came back in after a few moments with Laura sitting at her table. She’d finished cleaning up the mess, she was stroking the fur on Cullen’s coat. “I can clean this in the morning.” Even now Cullen couldn't help but find Laura beautiful.

****************************

Tiatria was back in South Reach, the children were asleep and she was outside looking up at the stars. Mia and Rosalie had chosen to stay with her till Cullen returned. Tiatria couldn't help but pray that he would return. She couldn't help but worry Cullen may want to stay with this new family since they were human. A slight breeze could be felt as the same elven words could be heard again. 

"Fen'Harel ma ghilana, ghil-dirthalen." 

Tiatria looked around as Mia came out the door, "Everything all right?" 

Tiatria turned around, she seemed to be still searching for something in the air. "Do you hear that Mia?"

Mia held herself as the air had a chill. She shook her head as she looked around, "No, why?" 

Tiatria's ears twitched as she looked at Mia, "I keep hearing the words of my people in every breeze. It's strange, it seems to be calling to me." Mia gave a curious look, "And what is it saying to you?"

Tiatria looked at Mia honestly, "It's telling me to follow the Dread Wolf to find the truth."

"The truth to what?"

Tiatria stopped hearing the words and looked back, "I don't know"

**********************************************************

Cullen looked at the door and started to leave, “I better go find Branson before he gets lost. He never could find his way around here in the dark.”

Laura walked over to door of her house, “I better go with you, the area has changed since the Blight. Some of the trails have changed.”

Cullen opened the door for her and they left quietly as not to wake Lily. Cullen wasn’t going to leave Lily alone for long. Laura showed him the way to the lake since Cullen figured Branson might be there. He saw that the land was still the same since the last time he visited. However, the land was still damaged but was slowly recovering.

Cullen looked over at Laura, “You knew about Branson’s feelings didn’t you?” Laura gave a cute smile, “Why didn’t you?”

Laura looked at him in the eye, “I loved someone else.”

“And you didn’t tell me because?” Cullen questioned as he rubbed his neck.

“I told you before, I didn’t want to ruin your dream.” Laura told him as she held her hands behind her back. "Too few of those around here as it is. Dreams are important, besides you were so set on becoming a Templar. Could you have really given up up being a Templar and, come back here to be a farmer?"

Cullen thought about her words as he lowered his head and rubbed the back of his neck. “I would have come back after blood mages destroyed Kinloch. If I would've thrown away being a Templar, that would've been the moment. I would’ve married you Laura. My heart always belonged to you.” Cullen blushed, "And a part of it still does."

Laura smiled at him as her hand caressed Cullen's left cheek, “My heart belongs to you too, always has.” Cullen started to think of Tiatria and his children as he sighed. He looked at Tiatria’s ring after removing it from his coat pocket. Cullen looked up at Laura, “Mia wrote to me and told me, you just had another baby with your wife.”

Cullen’s eyes saddened as he looked at the ring. “She means more to me than anything.”

Laura gave a curious look, “Then, why are you here?”

Cullen looked at her, “Because you wrote me" he answered honestly, "I needed to see Lily for myself." Cullen looked away for a moment, "Unfortunately she read the letter before, I could properly talk to her about it.” Cullen sighed, “She wants me to see where my heart lies.”

Laura gave a surprised look, “She’s giving you an ultimatum?”

Cullen stopped for a moment, “I think she knows me better than I know myself sometimes.” He chuckled, “She wants to make sure my heart is where it truly wants to be. She doesn’t want me to wonder, what could’ve been.”

Laura looked at him surprised, “Because of me?”

Cullen shook his head, “Not entirely, I gave up a lot to be with her. I left my post with Inquisition for her.”

Laura nodded, “I can imagine that was hard, to give up everything for family.”

Cullen nodded, “Yeah, but it was the right thing. She was targeted once before because of my role in the Inquisition. I was lucky enough to get her back." Laura hung onto Cullen's every word, she gave a gentle smile. "I wasn’t going to risk it further once Corypheus was defeated. We both wanted a simpler life, so it wasn’t that hard.”

“I heard that she’s is a Dalish elf. She must be beautiful."

Cullen looked at the ring, “She is, but her heart and soul outshines her physical beauty. She helped me in ways that I didn’t think was possible. She helped me come back to the man I used to be before…” Cullen sighed, “Before the Circle was taken over by Blood Mages.”

Cullen looked at Laura for a moment, “I wasn’t the same after that, I don't think I would've been a good husband to anyone after Kinloch and Kirkwall. I will bitter angry and frankly, I had a hard time trusting anyone." Laura watched as Cullen's eyes saddened, "I doubt you would've recognized me, let alone want me around you or Lily. I wasn't good for anyone."

Cullen looked at Laura, "But by the Maker’s Mercy she came into my life. Come to find out she had as many demons as I did, and together we found our way to each other time and again. We helped each other to heal.”

Laura sighed as she knew his heart belonged to this other woman, this beautiful Dalish elf. She felt like a fool holding out hope all this time. Of course he’d find someone to settle down with, why wouldn’t he? He clearly was suffering without her with him, she could see it in his eyes.

Laura shook her head as she shrugged, "But she's a Dalish, a savage. How can you be with someone who doesn't believe in the Maker?"

Cullen immediately stopped, "The Dalish have a rich culture that very few people ever understand. They may not believe in the Maker but they have their own gods, their own beliefs that give them a path to follow. The elves have lost almost everything that made their people great, their history, their way of life, their people. They fight to hold onto what is left and in doing so have made themselves out to be hostile to others." Cullen sighed as he thought of his wife. "Tia was next in line to be her Clan's leader, she was taught to heal, guide and read other people. The Dalish want to preserve what is left of their way of life." Cullen took a step towards Laura as his amber eyes bore into hers. "Can you honestly say you wouldn't do any less for Lily?"

Laura realized Cullen was right, she would do anything to preserve her way of life, her beliefs, her daughter.

Laura's left hand held her arm, "I've heard whispers that she was a slave once." Laura said gently, Cullen stopped in his tracks, "Where did you hear that?" Laura bit her lower lip as she held her hands together, "Where did you hear that?" he questioned again.

Cullen didn't answer he just shook his head and walked away mumbling to himself about people's history not staying private, when it should be. 

They continued on and when the lake came into view Cullen could see that it still looked the same since the last time he visited. As they walked the shoreline Cullen started to think back.

_***********_

_Cullen looked at Laura in the eye, “Laura look at me!” He positioned himself over her exquisite body. She looked at him, “Are you sure?”_

_Laura smiled at Cullen as she breathed through her nose. She managed to nod kissing him. Cullen looked down at her left breast and brushed her hair aside. She knew Cullen worried about hurting her, making a mistake or embarrassing himself in front of her. They had been dating secretly for months and they did love each other. Laura loved Cullen's modesty and trying to be proper and respectful at all times. However she did know he was a good man who was wound up too tight and needed to relax more._

_Cullen spread Laura legs wider and urged her to curl them back around his thighs, his hand beside her head to steady himself and the other coming to stroke her cheek affectionately. Cullen pulled back, shifting and reaching down to line himself up, pressing the blunt head of his cock to her quivering entrance_. _Cullen began to sweat as he'd become nervous himself, he'd never been with a woman before. He imagined it countless times before but now this was his desire made flesh. How was could he please her, would he please her?_

_Slowly, carefully, Cullen began to push in, watching Laura's face for any sign of pain, he caught Laura's sharp intake of breath when he first slipped between her folds, the quiver to her legs as he sank slowly - slowly, gently - deeper._

_Cullen wanted to give in and sink fully into her, take her assuredly and utterly but he restrained himself, caring more for her then himself, pausing with barely an inch pressed into her to check, "Laura, are you..." he whispered as his breath quivered._

_Laura noticed Cullen was shaking as to restrain himself. "Please keep going." she whispered, rolling her hips just enough to pull him further in, gasping and eating further at his control._

_Gritting his teeth, Cullen gripped her hips to keep her still and slid slowly, smoothly forwards, her body parting for him with ease, gripping onto his arms tighter the further Cullen sank._

_Cullen groaned when their hips finally met, as she enveloped him all at once, a warm, slick, tight yet soft channel like nothing else. She was so tight he didn’t know if he was going to be able to make it all the way in. It was like trying to fit a foot into a boot that was too tight. Once his cock was fully sheathed within her tight, the welcoming heat, he paused just to take it all in._

_As Cullen pulled back and slowly pushed back in slowly, Laura cried out in pain. Damn it, he hurt her. Cullen looked at her, “I’m sorry Laura, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Laura seemed to give a small whine from the pain. Cullen got her to look him, he looked at her kissing her. “Are you alright?”_

_Laura nodded, “It’s okay! You’re okay!” she smiled brushing the hair out of Cullen's face. “I won’t move till you say it’s alright.” Laura nodded as Cullen kissed her passionately._

_The urge to move was maddening, but Cullen staid frozen, trying to let Laura adjust._

_Maker’s Breath, does it feel like this for her?_ _He wondered._

_Laura looked at Cullen with tears in her eyes. “It’s alright Cullen, I want to be close to you.” she whispered gently. “Cullen, you feel..." Cullen smiled as he stroked Laura's cheek and gave her a chaste kiss._

_As if in answer she started to move. As she rotated her hips gently, it was Cullen’s turn to cry out from the sensation. He took it slow so as not to hurt her too bad. Laura had never known such pain. It was sharp and there was nothing like it. Cullen kissed the left side of her neck. He looked at her he could see the pain clearly written on her face._

_“Laura, it’s alright. I’ll take it slow.” he told her softly as his cupped her left cheek._

_Cullen listened to his body and hers. He started moving back and forth, slightly, a slow and gentle glide. His tongue slowly moved down till he got to her left breast and sucked on her nipple as his right hand massaged her right breast. She put her hands around his back and her legs around his hips. Tears fell from her eyes. Laura gave him a look that told him to continue. However Cullen didn't know how much he could continue, the feeling was so intense, that he didn't know if he could go much longer without cumming._

Cuillen _moved his hips ever so slowly in and out. He lowered his head into the grove of her neck and shoulder. He moved at a slow but steady pace not wanting to hurt her or force him to prematurely cum. Interestingly enough i_ t was somewhat painful to Cullen too, with the amount of pressure he had to put with his cock...at one point he had the weight of his hips on his cock and against Laura's vaginal canal. _Cullen was still trying to figure out how to move properly himself. To Cullen this was very embarrassing as he was trying to please Laura._

_“Yes,” Laura moaned, Cullen felt his balls tightened in response, aching more than ever. He gritted his teeth as he moaned._

_“Sweet Andraste!” Laura cried out, her back arched up Cullen gave a low laugh as he tried to hang on. Cullen moved with a little more vigor as he felt more stimulation. Laura couldn’t stop herself from moaning as he kept up his vigorous but gentle assault. Cullen took his left hand and held her right as he put them over their heads above the grass. She felt a fire well up from inside her. Her body grew hot and her cheeks flushed. Cullen felt a fire grow from his stomach that spread to his groin and limbs. Laura dug her nails into him as she ripped into his back. For what was only minutes, it felt like hours. When Laura came screaming, Cullen followed her over the edge a few thrusts later crying out. He fell on top of her dead weight._

***********

Cullen came back when he saw Branson sitting at the end of the dock. He was skipping rocks as his feet hung over the edge. Cullen signaled Laura to stay where she was before he walked over to him.

Branson heard his brother’s footsteps, “I should have guessed you’d find me here.”

Cullen stopped at the edge, “Yeah well, if you didn’t want to find you, you shouldn’t make yourself so easy to find. Come on Branson we used to hang out here all the time, it’s the first place I’d look.”

Cullen looked at his brother sulking and got irritated, he held out his left hand towards the shore. “For the love of the Marker Branson if you care for her so much tell her!" Cullen pointed his right index finger at Laura, "She’s right over there, I’m married and in love with someone else! You have a chance to find real happiness! It’s what Emily would have wanted for you and your son.”

Branson threw his last rock as he got up looking at him. “She doesn’t want me, she’s been holding out for _you,_ big brother.”

Cullen glared at him as he shook his head, “She knows about Tia. You’ll never know what you truly lost till you fight for it with everything you got.”

Branson turned around giving his brother a nasty look, “Like you did with your wife? Where is she? You followed orders like you always do and she got kidnapped made Tranquil!" Branson grabbed Cullen's vest, "By luck of the Maker you found a way to break tranquility. Look at you know? You’re here _looking_ for Laura.”

Cullen grabbed his brother by the shirt and pulled him in close. “I came here to see if Laura’s letter was true!" Cullen snarled, "Just for the record, I _never_ gave up my search for _my_ wife! I _never_ stopped looking for my wife even if it took me my whole life! I knew I’d find Tia even if I had to go to the Black City itself, I knew I would find her!”

Cullen then let his brother go, “I’m going back to Laura’s house to look after Lily.” He then pointed at Laura, “She’s right there, talk to her.”

  
Cullen then left the two looking at each other with Branson scratching the back his head and blushing.


	4. The Proper Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen takes Laura and Lily to Skyhold to talk to the Inquisitor.

Branson looked at Laura and he rubbed the back of his neck slightly unsure what to do. He walked up to Laura and used the knuckles of his left hand to caress her cheek. Laura looked away from Branson as she blushed.

“I have never stopped thinking of you.” he told Laura as she stepped away from him.

Laura looked at Branson, “But you were married, surely you loved Emily too?”

Branson looked at her gently, “I did but no matter how much I loved her, she wasn’t you.” Laura's eyes widened as her mouth slightly opened from shock. 

Branson then went for broke and grabbed Laura's head and smashed his lips on hers, it was like Laura was having her soul sucked out with all the passion and force Branson was giving. Branson then wrapped his hands around Laura drawing her in further. He kissed her like he was going to die any moment and that it was all or nothing. Branson finally let go when their lungs started to burn.

Laura looked at him and used her fingers to stroke his cheeks. “I have a child, we can’t-”

Branson shook his head as he smiled, “I do too, it doesn’t make a difference to me. It shouldn’t make a difference to you either.”

Laura shook her head, "But Lily belongs to-"

Branson shook his head as he gave a stubborn look. "It doesn't matter to me."

Laura felt like a fool holding onto a love that would’ve never happened. However, she always hoped that Cullen would reciprocate her love but, it clearly wasn’t meant to be. She could’ve been with the one who truly loved her, the whole time.

Laura started to cry after years of no one touching, holding, kissing, and most all desired her. It felt so good to be finally loved. Branson’s lips captured hers again as he held her, he couldn't stand to see her cry. Branson's left hand drifting down till he held her firmly.

This was something that he desperately wanted as it felt so natural. Branson stepped back a few steps and he bumped into some heavy crates, there was one on top of the other. Laura’s hands went up Branson’s shirt. Her fingers felt his taught muscles that were there. Branson’s skin flinched as he felt her delicate finger tips caressing his skin. Her right hand slowly moved downward as they gave each other over lapping kisses.

Branson then turned Laura and stood behind her, his head resting atop hers and his left arm curled around her waist. He gave her head a soft kiss as she turns sideways to nuzzle her cheek against Branson's chest. With the sun rising the warmth upon her cheek, she listened to his heartbeat. As the two watched the sun rise to start a brand new day they both knew it was fresh start for the both of them.

*********************************************************************

Lily woke up in her bed to find her father sleeping in a chair next to her. Cullen's arms were folded as his feet stretched out and crossed. His head was down as he slept, he looked at peace as he slept. Lily got out of her bed and took her blanket and covered Cullen with it. Lily looked at Cullen’s coat and felt bad it was dirty and slightly burned.

“What are you up to?”

Lily jumped as she turned around seeing Cullen looking at her. He had a sly smile as looked at her and started to crack his back. He got up and tossed the blanket onto Lily’s bed.

Cullen noticed she was holding his coat, “Do you like the feel of it?”

Lily smiled as she felt the fur, “It’s soft and so nice.”

Cullen squatted down as he wiped a bit of dirt from Lily's cheek, “Maybe I’ll get one made for you too?”

Lily’s eyes lit up, “Really? I’ve never had anything so nice!”

Cullen smiled, “I’ll order one when we get to Skyhold.”

Lily looked at him curiously, “What’s Skyhold?”

Cullen walked over to stew pot and saw it was empty and looked around and saw no other food source around. Cullen felt really bad that this is how his daughter had been living for so long. He started to rub his neck as he groaned and looked back at Lily. “Last night’s dinner was all we had left till Mommy gets the rent money, we were going to the market today.”

Cullen held out his hand for Lily's who held on as he looked at her closet, she only had one dress. Now Cullen truly felt truly horrible he bought all that cloth for his other children and she had nothing.

Cullen looked at Lily, “Why don’t you get dressed. We’ll then go into town and get you something to eat.”

Lily gave a nod as she watched Cullen walk out of the house. Cullen leaned against the wall and kept his arms folded. He noticed Laura and Branson coming back while holding hands. When they saw Cullen they let go and walked up to him.

Cullen looked at Laura, “Lily’s getting dressed and then we’ll leave.”

“Leave?” questioned Laura. Cullen walked up to his horse and checked it over. “I want to take Lily to Skyhold."

Laura looked unsure as she caught Branson's eye. Cullen walked up to the both of them, "Laura there are people there who can help Lily learn to hone her powers." Laura looked at Branson before looking at Cullen, "What about the Circle?" Both men noticed the tears in her eyes, "Are you going to take her away from me?"

Cullen shook his head as he folded his arms and Branson put his right arm around Luara. "Laura listen to me, the Inquisitor saw to it that the Circles were turned into colleges. Mages could go them to learn but they don't have to stay there." Branson tightened his hold on Laura as she realized her Daughter wasn't going to be taken away from her. "I would like to go when Lily comes out.”

“But we need the rent money to go shopping, I need Lily to eat something.” Laura told him.

Cullen looked at Laura and was about to speak but before he could, he caught sight of Lily coming out with her doll in hand, “I’m ready.”

Cullen smiled, “Yes you are, let’s get you onto my horse.”

Lily smiled, “Oh goody! I’ve always wanted to ride one!” she cried out as she skipped to the animal. Lily looked at the horse who obviously looked interested in her. It lowered its head and smelled her, causing Lily to giggle as the prickly hairs on the horse's muzzled tickled her face. Cullen chuckled as he watched as Lily touched the horse's nose and hugged his face gently as she stroked its cheek.

Cullen walked by his brother and bumped his shoulder, Branson caught smile giving him a smirk, telling him he was happy for him. Lily gently took Cullen’s hand as he brought her along side the horse and helped her onto it. Branson got onto his horse and helped Laura to get onto the horse behind him.

When they got down to the valley, Cullen went to the crossroads into the Hinterlands and bought enough food for Lily to eat for a week as well as her mother. He bought Lily a new dress that was more presentable. Laura smiled as she saw Cullen doting upon his Daughter. Lily beamed as she moved around holding her Father's hand. She’d never seen so much before and it excited her.

As they pressed onward to Skyhold Cullen talked about anything that Lily wanted. “What is Skyhold like?” she asked.

Cullen smiled as he held onto Lily with his right hand, “It’s a big castle that looks like it’s going to float into the clouds. The Inquisitor lives there.”

Lily’s smile was huge, “Really? Do you think I can talk to him?”

Cullen chuckled, “I think that is a pretty safe bet. I think he’d like you.”

Laura looked at Cullen, “I heard the Inquisitor is a mage, is that true?”

Cullen nodded, “Yes, he used to be in the Ostwick Circle.”

Laura worried that Lily’s being a mage would force her to be in a circle herself. She wasn’t sure what they’d expect once they got there.

Lily petted the horse’s main, “Daddy?” Lily got nervous for a moment. Cullen smiled, “Hmmmm?”

Lily gave a look of uncertainty as the color of her face drained. “Is alright if I call you that?” she asked as she bit lower lip.

Cullen chuckled, “Of course, you can.”

Lily hugged her doll as she became nervous, “Are you going to stay with us in Skyhold?”

Cullen gave a nod, “Only for a day or so, I need to talk to the Inquisitor and to see that you and your mother are settled in.”

“Why won’t you stay?” Lily questioned.

Cullen gave a sad sigh, “I have a home somewhere else.”

Lily’s face saddened, “Oh, you have another family then?” she mumbled as she hugged her doll.

Cullen held her hand, “I do, you have a little sister and a little brother. I will bring them to see you soon.”

Lily had hoped that her Daddy would stay forever with her because she so wanted a Daddy in her life. She always felt a void and when Cullen was around, it was filled. However, now she realized that wish was more to ever hope for.

*************************************************************

Dorian walked into the War Room to see his husband going over missives, “You won’t believe who has come to visit Amatus.”

Maxwell looked at him curious, “Who?”

Dorian smiled as he folded his arms, “Our dear former Commander and he isn’t alone.”

Cullen helped Lily down from the horse as they were close to the barn. The horse master led the horse away as they walked to Skyhold’s steps. Lily couldn’t believe how big the place was. She’d never seen a castle before and looked behind her to see her mommy and Branson walking behind them. When they were going up the stairs Maxwell and Dorian were waiting for them at Skyhold’s entrance.

Maxwell smiled, “Welcome back Commander, who is this beautiful little lady?”

Cullen looked at Lily and she looked at him then Maxwell as she held onto her doll tightly. She slightly shied away as she hid behind her father which caused Cullen to smile. “Inquisitor, this is my daughter Lily.” Maxwell looked at Cullen shocked then looked at the little girl.

“Lily, this is the Inquisitor Maxwell Trevelyan.” said Cullen gently. Lily peeked out from behind Cullen's coat unsure.

Maxwell walked over and bent down to her level and smiled gently, "It's a pleasure to meet you Lily." Maxwell held out his hand to her, "I hope you will enjoy your stay here."

Lily looked up at Cullen who moved his head to signal it was okay, Lily took Maxwell's hand and slowly shook it. "Nice to meet you."

Dorian looked at everyone stunned, “Well you have been up to some exciting adventures haven’t you?”

Cullen groaned as he folded his arms and gave Dorian an irritated look, "Nice to see you too Dorian."

Maxwell saw a glint in Dorian's eye that signaled he had lots of questions ready for Cullen. Maxwell looked at Branson and Laura and smiled as he moved his head towards Dorian. "Dorian, why don't you take our guests on a tour of Skyhold while I talk to our Commander?"

Dorian smiled as he knew Maxwell was trying to get rid of him, Maxwell knew he'd be pressed later for information but had no intention on giving any unless Cullen said otherwise. Dorian gave a nod, "Certainly!" He looked at Lily, "Where would you like to go first? "The Library? The stables? The Garden?"

Lily's face lit up, "Oh can we go the garden first! I love flowers!"

Dorian held out his hand, "Certainly!"

With Lily, Laura and Branson exploring Skyhold’s garden, Cullen was free to talk to Maxwell as Dorian showed his family around. “I received a letter not long ago from Laura telling me, I had a daughter with her. I was surprised to say the least.”

Maxwell smiled, “I would imagine.” he said as he held his hands behind his back.

Cullen gave a look of concern, “I didn’t want Dorian here because, he would ask me a lot of questions, I don’t need.”

Maxwell didn’t blame him, “What do you need from me Cullen?”

Cullen folded his arms as he looked at Maxwell, “Lily is a mage Inquisitor and she needs training." Maxwell gave a surprised look to say the least. "I was hoping you’d teach her, I heard Vivienne left to try and put the circles back together even though you helped the mages form a college, and I’m not sure Dorian would be…wise.”

Maxwell smiled, “Sure it’s not a problem. I can set up a learning program for her. I expect you want her to stay here?”

Cullen nodded, “Yes, Inquisitor. Where they live now isn’t fit for rats. I will send money for Lily and her mother to stay here.”

Maxwell smiled as he patted Cullen’s shoulder, “Cullen that won’t be necessary. They can stay here for as long as they wish and their upkeep will be taken care of.”

Cullen felt a huge weight lift from his shoulders, “Thank you Inquisitor.”

“How is your wife and family doing?” Maxwell questioned.

Cullen smiled, “They are doing well, Amalia is walking and Shartan is crawling.” Cullen rubbed his neck as he blushed, “We’re trying for another baby.”

Maxwell’s eyes widened, “Maker Cullen, are you trying to make your own army now?”

Cullen smiled, “Our life is happy Inquisitor and I want it to stay that way." Maxwell watched as Cullen's face showed concern. "I received your letter and I want to say this.” Maxwell tuned in, “I have no intentions in coming back to the Inquisition, however if the situation with Orlais and Fereldan gets to be too much and you _need_ me, I will come. I will do whatever it takes to keep my family, _all_ of my family safe. But I want you to understand that I will go home afterward, it’s where I belong.”

Maxwell smiled, “I understand, will you be making visits from time to him to see your daughter?”

Cullen smiled, “Of course, I plan on bringing the children. I want Lily to know her other siblings and be a part of my family. The circle no longer stands which means families can stay in touch. I may have only just found my daughter Inquisitor, but I have no intentions of losing her again.” Maxwell was touched by Cullen’s sentiment and was happy to see Cullen had come a long way from his old views of Mages.

Maxwell rubbed the back of his neck, “What about your wife? Will she be meeting Lily’s mother?”

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck as he sighed, “I would like the two to meet but, Tia’s hurt right now, she thinks there is still something between Laura and I.”

“Is there?” Maxwell questioned.

Cullen looked at Maxwell surprised as he immediately shook his head, “No, of course not. I love Tia, I married Tia. If I still loved Laura, I would have sought her out, long ago.”

Normally Cullen wouldn’t pry into the Inquisitor’s personal life but he wasn’t sure what to do. Cullen looked at Maxwell, “How would Dorian react if you had a child with someone else and you didn’t know about it?”

Maxwell laughed as he shook his head, “Dorian would be angry but I think he’d understand after a little while.”

Cullen just hoped his wife would be the same way this whole situation was sticky and he wasn’t sure what to say or do anymore. Cullen and Maxwell walked into the garden with Dorian talking to everyone about how horrid the place looked and what it took to get it took to look as spectacular as it did now.

Cullen went to the garden's and saw Laura who was standing by a beautiful rose bush. Cullen noticed she was looking at a plaque.

Cullen walked up to her, “Whose baby was this?” she questioned. Cullen sighed as Laura noticed his eyes get glassy, Laura’s face saddened as she realized. “Oh Cullen, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”

Cullen shook his head, “I didn’t expect you to know. No one knows except our immediate friends in Skyhold.”

Laura looked back at the plaque, “Nothing is harder than losing a child. I’m sorry, that had to be so hard to lose your child.” Laura’s eyes narrowed, “I can’t understand the name, how do you pronounce it?”

Cullen rubbed his jaw, “It’s elven, my son was elven.” He looked at Laura, “Tia, was pregnant when we first met. I saved her from an Orlesian noble who kidnapped her, raped her did unspeakable things to her.” Laura watched Cullen's fists tighten as he got angry, “They forced her to breed with another elf for their despicable pleasures. Turned out he was her lost love from their clan, and became a slave himself, while looking for her. He fought for her honor and was killed for it.”

Cullen looked at Laura, “Andraste’s mercy, that baby she carried was my son, I don’t care what anyone says." Cullen took a breath as he uncleched his fists. "He died in his sleep while I was away on an important mission with the Inquisitor.”

Laura gently smiled as she held Cullen's hand, she didn’t know what she could say to ease his pain. However, her touch told Cullen everything she wanted to say to him.

“I love my wife Laura, I love the life I have _with_ her. My brother can give you the love and care you deserve. I hope we can always be friends for Lily’s sake. I want her to know her little sister and brother, I want you to meet my wife and together we can all be a happy family.”

Laura nodded, “Of course Cullen, I wouldn’t expect us to ever stop being friends. I just hope you’ll visit us from time to time. I know Lily wants to be a part of your life.”

Cullen looked over at Lily who was looking at the chess board in the gazebo and Dorian asked her if she wanted to learn to play, he smiled. Maxwell stood next to her as he leaned over explaining to Lily about how the chess pieces moved. Dorian tried to correct his husband but Maxwell swatted Dorian's fingers away, as he continued. Lily laughed as she watched the two argue and held onto her doll. Cullen smiled as he knew that here, his daughter had a better future in Skyhold than, she ever would have in Honnleath.

Cullen looked at Laura and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “No matter what happens between you and I, I will _always_ take care of Lily.”

*******************************************************

Tiatria was still on the homestead sewing clothes for the children. She made several bigger dresses for Amalia and was working on making clothes for Shartan, when Rosalie came inside.

Tiatria looked at Rosalie and noticed her confusion, “I got a letter from Branson, he wants us all to come to Skyhold.” She looked at the letter and shook her head, “Why would he want us to come to Skyhold?”

Tiatria shook her head and sighed, “I don’t know, maybe he has news of Cullen?” she said in a lifeless flat tone. “Maybe he has news that Cullen stayed with his new family.”

Mia came out of Shartan’s room after putting him down to sleep. “My brother wouldn’t leave you, without a word. He’s too honorable for that!” Mia knelt down in front of Tiatria and held her hands, “My brother loves you with everything he has and more. You have to forgive him for this, it was ten years ago, before he even knew you.”

Tiatria’s eyes became glassy, “It frightens me” she said with a huge sigh, “to think he has another family out there. He has somewhere else to go, if he doesn’t love me anymore.”

Mia gave her an irritated look, “Tiatria Rutherford! My brother looked for you all over Thedas when that monster Samson took you and, made you Tranquil. He never stopped looking for you, never lost faith that he would!” Mia’s face softened, “He left the Inquisition for you! He wouldn’t have done all that if his heart didn’t belong to you and _only_ you.”


	5. A Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen has a heart to heart with Lily. Lily meets the rest of her family and Tiatria apologizes to her husband before she meets someone she would never expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elven Language Translation
> 
> Fen'Harel ma ghilana: "Dread Wolf guides you, ghil-dirthalen: "One who guides seekers of knowledge true." 
> 
> Ar Las Mala Revas: You are free 
> 
> Garas quenathra: "Why are you here?/Why have you come?" 
> 
> Halani: To Help Revas: Free Var: Our Elvhen: people 
> 
> Halani: help ar: me, halani: help Var: our Elvhen: people

Lily was at the barn petting the horse that she had rode into Skyhold on. She loved the horse and smiled as it nudged her. The horse was an white Imperial Warmblood, she’d never seen a horse so pretty. Lily heard footsteps and turned around seeing Cullen and smiled.

“She’s so pretty Daddy!” Cullen started to pet the horse’s neck, “The Inquisitor said he’s going to teach me. He’s a very nice man.”

Cullen smiled, “He is and he told me you’ll start tomorrow.” he told her.

Lily’s eyes saddened, “You’ll be gone tomorrow”

Cullen looked at his daughter as he nodded, “Yes, but I’ll be making frequent visits.”

“It’s not the same” she said slightly disappointed.

Cullen looked down at the ground as he scratched the back of his head. He took his daughter's hand gently and walked with her. “Lily, you need to understand, I will back.” he then knelt down and looked her honestly in the eyes. "You mean a lot to me Lily, I will be coming back to see you." Lily watched as Cullen's thumb rubbed her cheek as he held it. 

Cullen then heard a cart coming in and he saw his whole family on it. Cullen smiled seeing Tiatria in the front seat holding their son. Cullen walked up with Lily who stopped unsure. Cullen gently squeezed her hand. “It’s alright,”

Cullen walked up with Lily and when the cart stopped Cullen smiled looking up to his wife. Tiatria handed Cullen their` son, who looked happy to see him. Tiatria looked at the little girl who looked exactly like Cullen, right down to the curls.

Cullen kissed his son’s cheek as his Amalia popped up out the cart like a spring out of the box. Amalia giggled as she clapped her hands. “Da…Da!”

Cullen helped Amalia out of the cart too and put her down on the ground. Rosalie came out of the back as she helped Branson’s son out of the cart and Mia got down. Tiatria stayed on the wagon and watched Cullen with their children. The blonde little girl looked at everyone unsure. Lily looked at overwhelmed seeing all of her family at once. Mia and Rosalie greeted the little girl and started to walk up to her. Branson came and picked up his son.

Tiatria then caught sight of another woman walking up who had been holding Branson’s hand. Tiatria noticed how beautiful she was. Laura caught sight of Tiatria looking at her and Cullen noticed Laura’s face. Cullen turned around and looked back at Laura for a moment, “Laura, I want you to meet my wife, Tiatria Rutherford.”

Laura smiled as Cullen helped Tiatria down off the cart, “It’s an honor to meet Cullen’s wife finally.”

Tiatria wasn’t sure how to respond except, “Thank you.”

Cullen took his wife’s left hand and slipped her ring back onto her finger. “Nothing’s changed.” He assured as he kissed her hand. Cullen felt his wife relaxing as she felt reassured now, he smiled. Tiatria then caught sight of Lily who was sitting on the ground with Amalia trying to get to her big sister's hair. Lily seemed unsure of it all as she looked at her little sister.

“Tia, this is my daughter Lily.” said Cullen.

Lily looked up as she looked at Tiatria, “Hello” she said in an unsure tone.

Tiatria smiled, “Hello Lily.”

Cullen looked at Branson, “Not that I’m not happy to see my family but why is everyone here?”

Branson smiled, “I wanted my son brought here since I’m going to be staying here.”

Cullen smiled at his little brother, “I’m happy for you” the two shook hands, “I’ll look after them, I promise.”

Lily’s heart dropped, was this it? Was her father going to leave her?

Lily got up onto her feet and charged Cullen hugging him tightly, “Don’t leave me Daddy! Don’t leave!”

Cullen saw the tears in Lily's eyes as he felt his daughter’s grip tighten. Cullen knelt down as Lily wrapped her arms around her his neck, forming a choke hold. Cullen stroked the back of her head as he gently hushed her. Maxwell had walked up to everyone and saw Lily crying. Cullen stood up with her in his arms, gently rocking his daughter.

The two men looked at each other, “Lily” said Maxwell. Lily refused to look at Maxwell, Cullen turned around so she could look at Maxwell.

Maxwell smiled at her, “It’ll be alright, I will ensure that your Father visits us here often. I will write to your Father often about your progresses.”

Cullen had Lily look at him as he gently wiped the tears from her eyes. “I will come anytime you need me, no questions asked.” Cullen gently held her, as Lily shook her head. “Don’t go Daddy, don’t go! I just found you, I can’t lose you again!”

Cullen’s hold tightened, “I will never leave you, Lily." he assured, "I just found you and you are one the greatest treasures the Maker could ever give me.” He looked at her with a huge smile, “Do you believe me when I say: We will see each other again?”

The little girl nodded softly as Cullen smiled as he put a necklace around her neck, it was a gift Cullen had made for his wife but he felt Lily needed it more. Cullen had his lucky Andrastian coin Branson had given him. “My brother, your uncle gave me this.” Branson smiled, “It happened to be in his pocket but he said it was for luck. Templars are not supposed to carry such things.” He looked at his daughter, “Our faith should see us through.”

Lily smiled at him, “A little luck can’t hurt every once and awhile.”

Cullen smiled looking at the coin which was now a pendant in his Daughter’s hand, “I suppose not” he looked at her, “I should have died during the Blight, or at Kirkwall, or Haven take your pick!” He looked at her, “Yet I made it back here, to you.” 

Lily smiled seeing such a small thing brought him comfort. She hoped one day she would for him as well. He looked at her and placed it into her right hand, “Humor me Sweetheart.” Cullen closed her hand with the coin inside of it. “This coin meant everything to me and now, I’m giving it to you. So that you know this means, I will have to come and visit.” Lily nodded as he looked at him with tears trickling down her cheeks. “I will come back! This will never be the end for us.”

Cullen then put Lily down and took her hand as he walked Lily over to the barn, he stroked his horse’s neck. “I’m giving you my horse.” Lily looked at him in complete shock, “That way you can come and visit me anytime you need to.” Laura had her left hand over her mouth as she struggled to hold back tears. “In the circle you’d never be able to do such a thing, however they are no longer in service, which means that you can. I want you to ask your mother before you come and see me. I don’t want her to worry about you, do you understand?” Lily nodded as she looked back at her mother. 

Cullen walked back with her, “My brother Branson is going to help look after you. He loves your mommy very much and will treat the two of you like I would.”

Lily looked up at her father, “He won’t replace you.” she told him.

Cullen knelt down and smiled, “No, he won’t. He’s not going to try either but he will watch over you and protect you.” Lily looked at Branson clearly unsure.

Branson smiled at her, “I love you like you’re my daughter, but I know you have your father. I’m never going to try and replace him however, I’ll be here whenever you need me.”

Lily looked around at everyone, it slowly dawned on her she wasn’t alone anymore, it wasn’t just her and her Mother anymore. She had a great big family and they loved her.

Maxwell smiled, “I found a place for you and your Mother to stay.” Lily looked at him curiously, “I’m going to give you, your father’s old room. It overlooks the garden.” Lily smiled as realized she’d get to see the beautiful flowers every day. She hugged Maxwell with everything she had.

Over a few hours everyone visited and had a picnic, sang, and danced. Dorian had fun teaching Lily a few minor spells that made her giggle. Making flowers and butterflies out of mana. Cullen kept his eye on the two in case anything was going to get out of hand. After awhile Cullen played chess with his daughter and the two laughed as they talked about simple things.

When sunset came Cullen and Tiatria were given a guest room for the night. Cullen put his children to bed as Tiatria laid on the bed. She loved watching Cullen put his children to sleep. Cullen had missed it and loved singing his children a lullaby he had made up called: Starlight Express.

Once the children were sleeping Cullen walked over to his beautiful wife on the bed. He got onto it and snuggled her into his arms. “I’ve missed you.” She told him.

Cullen smiled, “I’ve missed you and the children. Has everything been quiet at home?”

Tiatria nodded, “Yes, Mia had to talk some sense into me.”

Cullen looked at her as her face showed remorse, “I’m sorry, I reacted the way I did to the letter.”

Cullen gave a soft smile, “I’m not surprised you did, I would’ve too. It was a shock to say the least Tia. I’m sorry it hurt you.”

Tiatria saddled her husband's lap, “I was jealous more than hurt, to be honest Cullen.”

Cullen knew that but he didn’t feel he had to say anything about it. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t want me anymore for how I acted.” Cullen’s hands held her hips as she looked at his breast plate. “I was jealous, mistrustful and I’m sorry.”

Cullen sat up and kissed his wife, “There’s nothing to forgive Tia. You reacted how anyone would’ve with news like that. I was never angry or hurt, I just had to do what I had to, what any real man had to.”

**************************************************************************

Inside their own room Laura held onto Branson’s cheeks as she kissed him. Her lips overlapped against his as she kissed him with lust. She kissed him like she was starved of air and his affections. Laura fell backward as she giggled. Branson pulled off her shirt and threw it aside, the two wanted each other so badly they didn’t really care about getting all of their clothes off.

Branson played with one breast with his index finger and thumb as he sucked on the other. The sensation drove Laura wild. Laura nestled her fingers into Branson's hair as she moaned and groaned. Laura kept her eyes closed, she could feel his lips curl into a smile. Branson felt Laura's moisture dribble down as her moans drove his cock to harden. Branson could see her body starting to grow hot as he continued. Branson could see her anticipation grow as she grew wetter by the moment. Laura’s legs opened as the hand that was massaging her breast gently moved down till his hand was in between her legs.

Branson's inserted two fingers as they kissed, “I want you inside me!” Laura

Branson sat up and loosened his trousers and forced them down till his hardened cock was released. Branson quickly turned Laura onto all fours. He flipped her skirt over onto her back so he could see her vaginal folds. Branson then held the base of his cock’s shaft and inserted himself into his love. One hand on her hip and one on her shoulder. He began to snap his hips into her, Branson nearly lost it when the moist folds of Laura's flesh wet the flesh of his cock. Laura gently contracted herself from the inside as an encouragement for him to move. Branson start to move his hips in gentle snaps at first but he gradually increased the force.

"I love having you inside me." Laura moaned as she lowered her head onto the mattress her fingers digging into the sheets.

Something was different somehow something changed, his cock was able to hit something inside Laura that made her go over the edge in only a few thrusts. This position made Laura grasp onto the sheets as she climax again and with more force than any other position she'd ever experienced. Branson also realized that whatever control he had left was now completely gone. Branson drove both of them into a climax over and over. With his movements more firm until he drove them both to one final, screaming climax. Branson came into his love with an intensity he wasn’t expecting.

Branson rode it out, his right hand braced himself against her butt. For a moment he thought he saw stars or had gone blind but wasn't quite sure. However, he didn't want to fall on top of Laura and crush her. Branson gingerly moved with an unexpected sensitivity that had followed, and collapsed on Laura's right side. He had just enough strength left to wrap his arms around her. Every little movement made Laura moan, even as he pulled out.

Branson was breathless from his well-worn exertion. He kissed Laura's neck. Laura turned her head to meet Branson's lips. Branson loved laying behind Laura with his arms wrapped around her.

**************************************************************

"Fen'Harel ma ghilana, ghil-dirthalen." 

Tiatria woke up as she could hear the elven in the air again, the words seemed to be haunting her know. Cullen lifted his head up as he put his right hand on hers. He half asleep when he sensed Tiatria was a little anxious as she gasped for breath. “Are you alright?”

Tiatria smiled looking back at him, “Yes, I’m fine."

Cullen woke up again and noticed Tiatria was missing from the bed. He could hear her getting sick in the washroom. When he got out of the bed he looked around the corner and saw her vomiting in a chamber pot. He walked over and felt her clammy forehead as he knelt down with a smile. Tiatria leaned back against the stone wall as she took deep breaths.

Cullen kissed the back of his wife's hand, "I would imagine that this is your body telling us we're going to have another addition?"

Tiatria gave a weak smile, "Maybe the first time is all it takes." she teased.

Cullen stood up as he helped his wife to bed, he pulled the covers up on her. He left the chamber pot next to her, so if she needed it she could get to it. He then went outside and rubbed the back of his neck. He walked around Skyhold looking at everything and started to remember all that went on inside it. He walked to the garden and noticed Branson sitting on a bench next to the gazebo. He sat next to his little brother and looked at him as Branson was bent over with his arms resting on his legs.

"You know I will take care of Lily don't you?"

Cullen nodded, "I do."

Branson looked at his brother, "I want to marry Laura once things are stabled out with Lily. I'm not going to make her call me dad or anything."

Cullen gave a small smile as he leaned back on the bench, his left arm rested on the arm of the bench. He sighed as he looked up at the stars. "Thank you," Cullen's eyes looked over at Branson, "Why are you up so late?"

Branson looked at his brother, "I have been thinking."

"About?" Cullen questioned.

Branson gave a smile, "How strangely the Maker works, if I hadn't come with you on this trip, I wouldn't be with Laura."

Cullen smiled as he gave a small laugh, "I think Mia had more to do with that then the Maker."

Branson couldn't argue with that, Mia seemed to have an uncanny ability to know what would happen if she told someone to do something. It was like she knew how fate would play out at times.

"I'm going to stay here with my Son, can you settle my affairs back in South Reach?"

Cullen nodded as Branson sat up, "Why are you up so late?" he questioned back.

Cullen sighed and looked away for a moment, "I woke up seeing Tia getting sick,"

Branson laughed, "Maker Cullen, are trying to match Father?"

Cullen laughed as he rubbed his neck ,"I'm not trying to match anyone. I'm just content with what the Maker provides."

Branson punched his brother in his right arm, "Well he's providing you with an army." The two laughed and talked into the night.

Tiatria woke up shortly before dawn hearing the words, "Fen'Harel ma ghilana, ghil-dirthalen." he words were louder this time. She looked over to her right and saw Cullen sleeping. Tiatria grabbed a shawl and wrapped around herself. She kept hearing the words as she walked to the garden. On the far left was a door that Tiatria had seen before. It was where Morrigan kept her Eluvian. As she walked closer she could see white light coming from under the door, itself. 

Tiatria watched as the door seemed to open up on its own. As it did so Tiatria had to use her right hand to shield her eyes. When her eyes adjusted there was a man in front of her, he wore golden elven armor, like those from Mythal's temple. A wolf skin drapped over his shoulder as right shoulder as a black wolf mask covered his face. The man held out his right hand. 

Tiatria held out her hand as he gently took it, Tiatria wasn't afraid, more like enchanted. "Fen'Harel"

Tiatria watched as held his hands on either side of her face, "Close your eyes, Lethallin."

Tiatria did as she was told, feeling the tingle of magic as it washed over her skin, the blue light bright even behind closed eyelids. It felt refreshing and tingly, and only when she felt his hands rest at the back of her neck did she open her eyes again.

"Ar Las Mala Revas" said Fen'Harel

Tiatria felt her face and could feel her Vallasline was gone, it was strange but most importantly she realized, her sunburst brand was gone too. Tears poured down Tiatria's cheeks, she truly was free. 

"Garas quenathra?" 

Fen'Harel held out his hand one more time, "Halani Revas Var Elvhen." 

"Halani ar, halani var elvhen?" he asked softly.

Without another word Tiatria took Fen'Harel's hand and followed him into Morrigan's Eluvian. 

************************************

Cullen woke up from Shartan screaming from hunger, he didn't see Tiatria anywhere as he picked up his son. He could see her side of the bed hadn't been slept in for quite sometime. "Tia?"

Back in the War Room Cullen was with Mia, Maxwell and Morrigan, "Where is my wife? We've looked all over Skyhold and she's isn't here?" 

Morrigan looked at Cullen, "Could she could have left through Skyhold's gate on her own." Cullen gave the witch a firm look, "The guards would have seen her leave."

Maxwell leaned on the table looking at the map and he thought about it, "She may not have left through the gate." he looked at Morrigan, "Could she have left through your Eluvian?" Morrigan shook her head, "I don't see how, I'm the only one who can open or close it." 

Maxwell looked at Cullen then at Morrigan, "Do you remember telling me how Eluvians could be opened sometimes if left open or ajar." Morrigan gave a nod, "Yes, but I haven't opened it since Kieran used it go into the fade." 

Cullen growled as he didn't know what this had to do with anything. Mia wasn't fairing any better, hearing about magic mirrors and entrance into the fade. Now she was understanding why Cullen didn't write much, this stuff was unbelievable. Mia looked at the Maxwell then at Cullen, "What about if she was hearing someone talking to her?"

Cullen snapped his head around, "What are you talking about? What words?" Mia didn't know what to do really or how to explain it. Mia looked at her brother, "Tiatria told me she could hear something or someone talking to her."

"What did it say exactly?" Morrigan questioned.

Mia shook her head, "Something about a wolf and finding knowledge." 

"And you didn't think to tell me this?" Cullen snapped

"She must of meant Fen'Harel, the dread wolf, but what knowledge could she possibly be referring to?" Morrigan questioned. Cullen gave a nasty look, "I don't care what it means, I need to find my wife. My children want their Mother."

"What if someone opened your Eluvian opened it from the other side, in the crossroads?" Maxwell questioned, Morrigan thought about it, "That person would have to have immense power. I've learned more since our little adventure in Mythal's temple." 

Maxwell stood up straight, "We're listening"

"I have been listening to the voices from the Well of Sorrows and they have taught me much. They have told me Mythal had the power over the Eluvians. She controlled where they went and went through it." 

"What about this wolf guy? Could she have let him through?" Cullen questioned, desperate for an answer. 

Morrigan thought for a few moments, "Perhaps, it seems as likely an answer as any. But one must ask as to why?" That was a question no one seemed to know how to answer. Maxwell looked at Cullen who was clearly grief stricken and he couldn't blame him.

"Cullen," Cullen looked at Maxwell as he was still agitated, "You and your family are welcomed to stay here." 

Cullen gave a nod," Thank you Inquisitor," Cullen then looked at his sister, "I need you and Rosalie to back to South Reach, look after things. I know I was supposed to settle Branson's affairs" he rubbed his neck as he growled, "Obviously things have changed." 

Mia nodded, "Of course"

"In the meantime" Maxwell continued, "I'll have a wet nurse and a nanny look after your children." Cullen nodded, "Thank you Inquisitor."

Maxwell started to walk towards the door, "I need to start Lily on her first lessons today, if you'll excuse me." Cullen nodded as he watched Maxwell take the handle of the door. "Inquisitor" Maxwell stopped and turned, "Can I have my old post back?"

Maxwell smiled as he gave a nod, "Of course Commander, welcome back to the Inquisition. Start back whenever your ready." Cullen gave a nod, "Thank you Inquisitor"

Mia touched her brother's left cheek, "Cullen, it'll be alright. We'll find her." Cullen nodded as he scratched the back of his head. "I need to keep myself busy. If I go back to the farm, I'll go nuts." 

Mia nodded, she understood it. In coming back to the Inquisition Cullen could follow on any leads of where Tiatria could be. If he went back to the farm it would only be a waiting came on when and if he'd get any information. The Inquisition gave Cullen a sense of purpose a sense of hope. 

Cullen opened the door that led from Skyhold into his office. Cullen's fingertips touched his desk as he walked around and sat down in his old chair. Cullen slowly looked around at his office before he started to rub his eyes with his right hand, as his elbow rested on chair handle. 

To be pulled back in a life he fought so hard to get out of was devastating but he had to to find his wife. Cullen prayed to the Maker that he'd find Tiatria and find the one who took her; and make them pay. But for good or ill he was determined to see this path through, no matter where it would lead.


End file.
